I must admit: I’ve been the most delinquent marathon trainee of the three of us.  Fortunately for you and me, I have excuses aplenty: my broken Garmin GPS watch (my boyfriend says it probably just needs a new battery, but until I actually drive somewhere and deal with it, that theory remains unsubstantiated),  the heat, the fact that I have to start my run in the wee dark hours to even attempt to beat the heat, and the frightening and little known fact that South Florida has befallen a never-before-seen reemergence (unless this happens every summer…?) of the 8th plague: locusts.  This time around, it’s dragonflies: swirling, silent swarms of them.  Pro: the “dragonfly swarm” is the new “afternoon chance of thunderstorms” of uncontroversial, mind-numbing conversation topics to broach with fellow South Floridians.  Con:  Who wants to run in this?

My final excuse is CrossFit.  Never heard of it?  CrossFit is bootcamp invented for those of us with a tenuous attention span, streak of masochism, and total lack of shame.  Click here to see the workout of the day, or simply WOD, in CF lingo.  I may have already done it this morning.  If you get there at just the right time, or spend more than 10 seconds on the page, you’ll see a photo of a woman with a sandbag hoisted on her shoulders, cut-out abdominal muscles and a perfect tan.  That is not me.  I am, however, the pasty blob in the background with my mouth slightly ajar like I’m a little surprised or about to vomit. 

SPOILER ALERT: I’m about to subject you to some fitness minutia.  Competitor Magazine recently ran a feature on CrossFit and its celebrated founder, Brian Mackenzie. The article described Mr. Mackenzie’s revelation that runners run too much, running is boring, and runners can not only successfully complete running races, they can earn PRs (personal records) while barely running in the critical months before said race.  Finally! The physiological breakthrough all runners have been waiting for: we can stop the toiling, hit the snooze button, and show up on race day and STILL kick butt.  All a runner needs to do is “run smarter, not longer:” slash mileage, swap the weekend 17-mile run for a nine mile, lung-bursting interval run, and the weekday 10-milers for a couple of three or four mile sprints…and tack on four CrossFit workouts.  First of all, which part of this regimen is easier? 

Much more importantly, though, this article made me mad.  Almost enough for me to march over to my computer and whip out a scathing letter to the editor in defense of runners who actually LIKE to run…until I forgot about it…but still; since when are runners–real runners, most of whom are runners for life, who, like me, struggle to suppress the nagging sensation that something is missing when we miss a run–looking for ways to cut it out?  This perplexes me.   But, I must have bought it–literally, I paid for three months of CrossFit membership, and I’m probably going to get another three when the first three ends.  And, unlike my brother and sister, I haven’t run more than 12 miles since…the last time I ran a half-marathon.   Indeed, CrossFit makes me feel like I’m cheating on running.

This weekend, though, I’m heading back to NY.  On Sunday, Amy and I are running 18 miles.  So, stay tuned.  Will I finish with fuel to burn because of the gazillion weighted lunges my CrossFit instructor has subjected me to?  Or, will I hit the dreaded wall at mile 14?  You–all three of you readers, all of whom are related to me–will have to just wait and see.